Reflections on my small part in a London death

[alexsarll]

My Tube home hit someone at Euston last night. Now, obviously given I live in London, I've had transport disruption down to this sort of thing before, but I've never felt the crunch, never been (through momentum as a product of mass and velocity) some small part of the killing. Now, I've long felt that suicide as currently practised is more often than not an incredibly selfish act, and suicide by train perhaps the worst of the lot, but there were details here which really brought that home. The driver's faltering voice as he announced "a very serious incident at the front of this train". The realisation that a friend of mine was on the platform - we attempted some gestured communication, and even managed a few words once I detrained, but given he's an off-duty police, he was really obliged to go up front and lend a hand. I mean, that's not what you want on your way home of a Sunday evening, is it? And as ruudboy has noted, it was late enough to screw up the last Tubes. I was on my bus routes home, though I ended up walking to Camden through simple impatience, but a lot of people were going to be left stranded far from home. I'm not that bothered about the delay to my own journey, given today's a day off and I've been sleeping better than I do anything else this weekend. I'm certainly not that bothered about my small part in killing this dick, because as outlined above anyone who's prepared to act so bloody selfishly and obstructively amply deserves to die. But I am bothered about the driver, my friend, those other passengers, all of whom have had their evening (and in the driver's case especially, perhaps much longer) tainted by one inconsiderate little toerag convinced that his own problems were so much more important than everyone else's lives.

In an effort to keep myself vaguely calm, I've written this entry to the soothing strains of Anjani, a member of Leonard Cohen's band who's now done an album with him producing and co-writing, It's very good - sort of Norah Jones without the distressingly dinner party moments, or a less Teutonic Ute Lemper. Normally I'd consider it strictly late-night music, but it's keeping me on an even keel at the moment.

Comments

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

Earlier in the evening I had been subjected to Dalziel & Pascoe by my otherwise delightful hostesses. Nothing I saw could have been much worse than Warren Clarke's face.

[palindrome-boys.livejournal.com]

It was bad, wasn't it?! Except for that bit "What were you doing between 8 and 10pm last night..?" Eek, eek eek!!! Heheheh. I'm sad that your evening got worse. Worse that Warren Clarke's face eating a sandwich. ^~^

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

I didn't want to tell you on my 'home safe' text because it would rather have spoiled the reassuring effect and ultimately, I was home safe. But that and his face aside, I did have a lovely day!