Reflections on my small part in a London death

[alexsarll]

My Tube home hit someone at Euston last night. Now, obviously given I live in London, I've had transport disruption down to this sort of thing before, but I've never felt the crunch, never been (through momentum as a product of mass and velocity) some small part of the killing. Now, I've long felt that suicide as currently practised is more often than not an incredibly selfish act, and suicide by train perhaps the worst of the lot, but there were details here which really brought that home. The driver's faltering voice as he announced "a very serious incident at the front of this train". The realisation that a friend of mine was on the platform - we attempted some gestured communication, and even managed a few words once I detrained, but given he's an off-duty police, he was really obliged to go up front and lend a hand. I mean, that's not what you want on your way home of a Sunday evening, is it? And as ruudboy has noted, it was late enough to screw up the last Tubes. I was on my bus routes home, though I ended up walking to Camden through simple impatience, but a lot of people were going to be left stranded far from home. I'm not that bothered about the delay to my own journey, given today's a day off and I've been sleeping better than I do anything else this weekend. I'm certainly not that bothered about my small part in killing this dick, because as outlined above anyone who's prepared to act so bloody selfishly and obstructively amply deserves to die. But I am bothered about the driver, my friend, those other passengers, all of whom have had their evening (and in the driver's case especially, perhaps much longer) tainted by one inconsiderate little toerag convinced that his own problems were so much more important than everyone else's lives.

In an effort to keep myself vaguely calm, I've written this entry to the soothing strains of Anjani, a member of Leonard Cohen's band who's now done an album with him producing and co-writing, It's very good - sort of Norah Jones without the distressingly dinner party moments, or a less Teutonic Ute Lemper. Normally I'd consider it strictly late-night music, but it's keeping me on an even keel at the moment.

Comments

[atommickbrane.livejournal.com]

Ooof, how horrible. Wince.

[puzzled-anwen.livejournal.com]

Ugh, yeah, that happened to Elvira from work recently, horrible for the poor driver. Selfish bastards.

[p-dan-tic.livejournal.com]

much as I agree there are more selfless ways to top yourself, there are people who are more concerned with making sure it's not their loved ones who discover the body and also want to make sure that they're clearly dead rather than just "disapear" of you see what I mean (sometimes so that loved ones can pick up the isurance or whatever)

I can honestly see why those two fact might be more important to someone that not inconvniencing londoners, and knowing I think there really are worse ways to do it than somehwere where everyone who will have something to do with the death itself is in a job whihc specifically prepares it's employees for the possibility and provides proper support, and I think you're being a *little* harsh

[missfrost.livejournal.com]

My experience of being on a train behind one which had hit a suicide at 6pm on a Friday was that travellers soon go from initial sympathy and understanding for the delay, to loudly proclaiming "what sort of selfish bastard kills themself in rush hour?" and "for fuck's sake, how long can it take to move a body?"

[pippaalice.livejournal.com]

I can understand the compulsion but at the end of the day you are making someone else have to deal with having caused your death which is so selfish. But then I guess if you get to that point you don't really care about much anymore anyway.

Urgh. :(

The really weird thing is I had dreams about people being killed by trains all night. (The man was an alcoholic and beat his wife and then killed himself, I really have the nicest dreams. There was also a car on the tube line, which is odd and unlikely really) I also had a dream that I was having a baby though so I doubt this was me seeing the future or owt.

[cappuccino-kid.livejournal.com]

Once I was on the district line, and the driver announced that the delay was caused by the driver of the train in front having dropped dead. Everyone else in my carriage started laughing!

[tiny-tear.livejournal.com]

Haven't been on the train, but have been on the platform and heard a crunch. *shudder* (about 7 years ago in Archway)

[verlaine.livejournal.com]

Suicide in front of a train isn't unthinking selfishness, it's a little piece of payback.