The worst is not, so long as we can say 'this is the worst'

The smoking ban. Catherine Tate as the Doctor's companion next season. The death of Fopp. The weather. And just because that's not enough bad news to be getting on with, the Chavez/Ahmadinejad supervillain team-up rolls on. "Today Hugo Chavez is the most talkative, launching a tirade against the "barbarians" he says have invaded Iraq, and comparing them with the barbarians he says destroyed the ancient civilisations of Latin America." Now, by now I would hope anyone reading this journal appreciates that I am not naturally on the side of aggressive Catholic imperialism, but he is talking about civilisations which practised mass human sacrifice. Civilisations whose own subjectt states allied with the invaders because anything had to be better than being a source of blood and beating hearts for the Aztec death gods - and who, in spite of the ensuing conquistador atrocities, were probably right. But no, as far as the Secret Society of Supervillains, sorry, 'Axis of Unity', is concerned, because those death cults were enemies of the West, they must have been the good guys. Next week: because the Jews opposed the sacrifice of children to Moloch, Ahmadinejad decides that even if it does oppose every tenet of islam, reinstituting the worship of Moloch can't be all bad.

Looking for some small candle to hold against this darkness, I find only unconfirmed possibilities; Boris Johnson is apparently 'not ruling out' standing for Mayor of London against the loathsome liche-lord who, in life, was known as Ken Livingstone. And in the new NME Eddie Argos mentions the formation of The English Travelling Wilburys - a supergroup featuring himself, Luke Haines, David Devant (presumably he means the Vessel)...and Frank Sidebottom. One fears these might both be back-of-beermat plans, destined to leave no more trace than the morning fog - but right now they would appear to be the closest things we've got to hope. Hell, even The Thick Of It seems to have lost its pinpoint accuracy; this week's special may still have had some good swearing, but in its failure to anticipate anything like the shape of the Labour leadership handover, it no longer felt like a smuggled report of the truth behind the scenes, and that was always at least as much of a factor in its appeal.

edit: Reading back through the friendslist, Stockholm Syndrome seems to be breeding excuses for the abomination Tate. As a public service, I offer a reminder of potential companions less inevitably dreadful than a reprise of Donna from The Worst Who Episode Ever:
Dalek Sec (having swapped his smart suit for a hoodie, better to appeal to Ver Kidz)
Russell T Davies' sphincter, expelling its contents onto the camera lens every five minutes
Adric
A Slitheen in a fez

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The wonderful, terrible thing about home internet being, when you simply don't feel sleepy but can't quite concentrate on a book or guarantee a whole hour awake for TV, something's there. But you know you're going to feel it tomorrow.

The last spirit exhalation of the previous age, or the first of the new, same thing.

This one goes out to anybody who ever lost an election to RON.

Because we don't have enough religious groups complaining about things being 'disrespectful', a bunch of pagans have decided to get in on the act, complaining about Trinny and Susannah giving the Long Man of Wilmington "temporary pigtails, breasts and hips". Look, you imbeciles, he is the Long Man of Wilmington. He may not be the Cerne Abbas giant, but he is close enough to the male principle to be entirely secure in his sexuality. Think of all the mythic heroes who do their time in drag! He will get over it, and I suggest you follow suit. And if we're talking "disrespectful", then you so-called 'druids' and the impostor who dares to take the name 'Arthur Pendragon' ought really to start looking a little closer to home, don't you think? Oh, I hate special interest groups. A twin pressure group complaining that Big Brother is being twinnist, apparently failing to spot that the twins were not made this way by Endemol. That retarded screed doing the LJ rounds about supposed racism in Doctor Who. The world is drowning in a swarm of tiny minds who can only process any stimulus through whether it fits their own cast-iron agenda as it affects their own tunnel-vision area of interest.

Rome's second series was losing me for a little while, but has regained my attention by the simple expedient of going totally bugfvck insane. Gratuitous lesbian org1es! Octavian suddenly replaced with another actor who looks not the slightest bit like the last one! Torture scenes all over the place! A sustained challenge to what had always been assumed to be Oz's lifetime hold on HBO's bumrape crown! And above all - Mark Anthony's spectacularly unflattering beard! I can increasingly see why they had to stop after this series - there would simply not have been anywhere loopier to go short of recasting Britney Spears as Cicero.