You know how blogging was meant to be about actual news?

[alexsarll]

Outside the window, as in, 10 feet from me, a swarthy fellow has been grabbed by about 15 police. With submachineguns, bulletproof vests and a sniffer dog. His car boot has been opened and, though it appears only to contain Ikea purchases, the police are taking no chances. The sniffer dog just had a great time sniffing the guy's suitcase. Posting now so if I do get blown up you know why. Ah, they seem only to be booking him for parking on a red route. Anticlimax.

Comments

[hideoustricks.livejournal.com]

It's all going off in Londinium this weekend - kiss me quick et al have high jinks outside their house this weekend too. You people have all the fun!

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

I sneer at their puny mugging! Multiple SMGs clearly win. Though they look strangely unconvincing in the flesh.

[pippaalice.livejournal.com]

Alex, would you like to see the blood which was all over the tarmac?

Ours may be less exciting (Especially as I didnt wake up and also Lizzy thought I might be dead) but it was probably slightly more tragic.

Is Ikea illegal nowdays then?

Is Ikea illegal nowdays then?

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

Heaven knows it *ought* to be, but I was unaware my policies on that point were being implemented.

Re: Is Ikea illegal nowdays then?

[pippaalice.livejournal.com]

But then where will all the gay men go to pull? (Okay this is possibly a stupid joke to make a clubs listings editor who will list 17thousand gay clubs at me...bah)

I like Ikea things. They are sometimes plastic and have nice angles.

Re: Is Ikea illegal nowdays then?

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

Ikea do make some nice stuff, but I resent their attempts to become a lifestyle brand. The 'chuck out that chintz' campaign in particular was offensively prescriptive.
I consider a few minimalist items best deployed as one aspect of furnishing in an otherwise maximalist home.

Re: Is Ikea illegal nowdays then?

[pippaalice.livejournal.com]

I dislike the new ones much more. The chintz one was okay but the new one is like...ooh we're wacky look at us and our wackiness.

See also those horrible fruitfly sweetie ads.

Re: Is Ikea illegal nowdays then?

[willlowlove.livejournal.com]

just ignoring ikea advertising they make good stuff and it's quite cheap for this city anyway.

Re: Is Ikea illegal nowdays then?

[jamesward.livejournal.com]

Ikea != minimalist

We have different standards

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

They don't sell anything with gargoyles on it = minimalist

Re: We have different standards

[jamesward.livejournal.com]

But they do sell big red foam shoes that you can stick on the bottom of table legs so it looks like the table has feet!

Re: We have different standards

[leunnammi.livejournal.com]

they were green last season

Re: We have different standards

[jamesward.livejournal.com]

The ones I have are red but I've had them for about 4 years or something. But still, even if they are now green, it is PROOF that Ikea != minimalist

(obv. if they started selling grey foam shoes then Barry would have a point)

Re: We have different standards

[leunnammi.livejournal.com]

but their instruction leaflets certainly are minimalist. Having recently constucted some of their more complex furniture I now understand how some people can go horribly wrong.

Re: We have different standards

[jamesward.livejournal.com]

This isn't because they are minimalist, they are simply trying to break down the elitist barrier created to artificially separate 'creatives' and 'consumers'. By having vague instructions, you are able to use your imagination! No-one is solely designer, and no-one is solely user! We are all designer-users! Everyone is an artist! Liberation!

Re: We have different standards

[leunnammi.livejournal.com]

Surely those buying from Ikea have chosen to be 'consumers' and solely such? a 'creative' should be issued with 3 nails, 2 planks and a saw for the making of the bookcase not a flatpack wardrobe.

Re: We have different standards

[jamesward.livejournal.com]

No no no. BUYING IS A CREATIVE ACT.

Re: We have different standards

[leunnammi.livejournal.com]

and building this wyrd stucture that falls over as soon as you put weight on it is a destructive act?

Re: We have different standards

[jamesward.livejournal.com]

Creation and destruction are the same act, just looked at from different directions.

Creation is a destructive act.
Destruction is a creative act.

DO YOU SEE?

Re: We have different standards

[leunnammi.livejournal.com]

but all things return naturally to the most chaotic state, ie in pieces all over the floor.

Re: We have different standards

[jamesward.livejournal.com]

But that is no excuse not to tidy up

Re: We have different standards

[leunnammi.livejournal.com]

and buy a pre-constucted bookcase.

Re: We have different standards

[jamesward.livejournal.com]

Flatpack > ready-assembled

Re: We have different standards

[leunnammi.livejournal.com]

8 planks, 1 packet screws, 1 drill>flatpack

Re: We have different standards

[jamesward.livejournal.com]

Cuh, why don't you just go and listen to Ocean Colour Scene!

Re: We have different standards

[leunnammi.livejournal.com]

coz I'm stuck in an office on the wrong side of the river being 'nice to people' (and I don't like OCS anyway)

Re: We have different standards

[jamesward.livejournal.com]

Yes but you 'like' them, don't you?

Re: We have different standards

[leunnammi.livejournal.com]

I think I have to play innocent at this point.

[hideoustricks.livejournal.com]

Easy for you to say standing from the window watching 'em though, wha?

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

To be fair if there had been a bomb in there, I would have been toast. Or more likely puree. Which makes it moderately worrying that I was sat here updating rather than deciding to take an early lunch. I think part of me was rather hoping it would and I'd rise incandescent from the wreckage like the supergayer in New Statesmen.