Running the ripples from shore to shore

[alexsarll]

'The Solitary Life of Cranes' is a lovely, strange little programme; the men who operate those towering cranes one sees dotted about explaining their experiences and perspective, over beautiful footage of London from a vantage point most of us will never share - high enough to be silent and detached, but low enough to recognise individual people. They come across quite like Wim Wenders' take on angels.

Two launch parties for augstone products this week; the H Bird single release and the Oxford Dons premiere. The former was fairly subdued; the latter, I think it is fair to say, got a bit out of hand, culminating in a spontaneous performance by Keith TOTP & His Minor 18 Carat All Star Backing Close-Ups (Featuring exliontamer), or something like that, which I'm hoping hasn't got us all barred from the N19 because I'm doing my birthday there this year. The show/film/artefact itself is hilarious, and coming soon to an internet near you. And I'm only an extra in this one.
In between launches, went to the Serpentine Gallery for the first time. Which is silly, but I hadn't realised a) it's free and b) one of the attendants is a friend. Small for a London gallery, but it has the advantage of being set in a ruddy great park, albeit one where the squirrels are no respecters of personal space. The current show, Design Real, is simply well-designed items laid out like artworks, and labelled only with a generic - SHOES, KNIFE, ARMOUR. If you want more, you can check the website - or go the central room, where there are Kindles with the same information. And never having used a Kindle before, I did find them very intuitive and pleasant to use, but they're considerably less portable than a paperback so I don't think text's iPod moment has come quite yet. After that, xandratheblue took me for veggie fish and chips, a matter on which I must respectfully disagree with both her and hoshuteki. I think the problem is, they both eat fish and expected something along similar lines. Whereas if someone presents me with chunks of deep-fried halloumi, I don't really mind what they call it, I just murmur 'cheeeeeeese' and adopt a blissed-out expression. Cheeeeeeeeese.

Philip Jeays' Christmas shows on the Barge have often tended towards the drunken (not least the time we took a trip to the beach afterwards), but last night still felt unusually tinged with chaos. The first sign was when, after the usual pleasant-but-would-work-better-in-the-background set from Peacock, the annual Speech Painter ordeal began. Except - he had a new poem. A reworking of Phil's 'Geoff', the song in which Phil talks about wanting to kill Geoff for his house, and shagging his wife. The reworking is called 'Phil', and you can imagine the general tone. The natural order is overturned! The Speech Painter is fighting back, and stranger, getting laughs!
From then on, everything feels slightly rackety. The boat is shaking more than usual. The new song with which Phil opens has the chorus "They're all whores!" (repeat x 3). I'm the first person whose number comes up (well, except the berk who requested 'Idiots In Uniform', but they clearly don't count) and when I ask on a sudden whim for 'London' instead of 'The Raj', there's confusion as to which version I mean. Lots of people are claiming tickets they don't have - including, in a moment of Epic Fail, the one Jeays took himself. Busted. One request is actually refused, which I don't think I've ever seen before. One table have to be reprimanded for talking.
And yet, amongst it all, the songs. There are some strange choices made, but also some of the best - 'Here I Am', 'Midnight in Trieste', 'Perry County'. In a world which has embraced Richard Hawley, there really should be broadsheet features for Philip Jeays too.

Comments

[hoshuteki.livejournal.com]

No you see my problem wasn't that I expected fish or it to taste like fish (which I do like, but I demur, I haven't eaten fish & chips for years), but that it didn't taste sufficiently cheesy. It tasted entirely bland, and I would have expected halloumi to be saltier, squeakier, more distinctive-tasting (I love halloumi, I know how it should taste), but it was just three big chunks of fat without any particular flavour, and far too stodgy. Possibly a different kitchen may have cooked it (reheated it?) with more flavour, but I'm guessing it's much the same whichever Punch pub you have it in.

[xandratheblue.livejournal.com]

Ha! Straight in with the debate!

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

The lack of squeakiness did mean that it could have been plenty of other cheeses, and so rather lost the halloumi USP, but while I couldn't necessarily have told you which cheese it was had I not known, it was definitely cheese (and not one of the horrible too-bland ones eg mild cheddar, red leicester). Which is usually good enough for me.

[hoshuteki.livejournal.com]

It tasted entirely bland to my palate, though!

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

Possibly over time they're getting more adept at how to make it work? My main problem was that I wanted to eat it rather than let it cool down, which is counterproductive from a taste POV but normally a good sign.

[xandratheblue.livejournal.com]

My main objections to the deep fried halloumi was more to do with the fact it didn't squeak enough, otherwise it's not "squeaky cheese!" It also tasted a bit like the minori (SP? Roughtly phonetic there)cheese I used to get at work, hence confusing my expectations.

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

Not sure if I know that one, but I suppose the nature of cheese (IT LIVES!) is such that one can always potentially shade into another.

[xandratheblue.livejournal.com]

If I remeber correctly, it's made from the whey of feta, so whilst it's very salty, it can seem quiet bland once cooked wrong and cover in honey.

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

That does sound like a deeply questionable delivery system.

[pippaalice.livejournal.com]

Maybe if one cooks it correctly and then covers oneself in honey?

[whizzerandchips.livejournal.com]

The Serpentine is my favourite London gallery. Always interesting exhibitions, usually with a quirk of some type, and excellent and friendly staff.

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

Now I know about it, I'll certainly keep an eye on their upcoming exhibitions.

[intermix.livejournal.com]

Come visit me! x

[pippaalice.livejournal.com]

I just don't understand why bother call it veggie fish. Why not just call it CHEESE?

What was the song John requested? Made me bawl but attempt to pretend it was just my very tired eyes. I am impressed you managed to not mention the absolute cvnts shouting and generally being twats. The shouty girls annoyed me the most simply because they clearly didn't actually want to be there. WHY SPEND £10 TO GO SOMEWHERE YOU HATE AND MAKE MISERY AND SADNESS FOR ALL?

I liked some of the speech painter stuff. peacock man confused me, the music was fine but he came across like someone who would terrify me if I attempted conversation. He should really try a mute existence.

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

He always strikes me as more terrified than terrifying.

I mentioned them being reprimanded! And they did seem to behave once Phil told them to, understandably given subsequent applause meant they must have realised they were in the midst of a potential lynch mob with no means of escape. But no, I do not understand why they went in the first place. I suppose to some people a concert is just A Night Out rather than something where one pays attention.

I remember which songs some people requested, but not John's. Do you recall any lyrics/themes?

[augstone.livejournal.com]

john requested 'here i am'.

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

I thought that was Will's second choice after 'We Can Fly' was rejected? Clearly I was drunker than I thought.

[augstone.livejournal.com]

i'm pretty sure it was john's though i was sober which is probably more unreliable than you drunk. of which, you did not seem at all drunk to me.

i was really quite impressed with the speech painter's "phil". which is saying something as the rest of his set...

[beingjdc.livejournal.com]

No, Will's second choice was Arles.

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

Ah yes!

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

Exactly! Plus, it may mean we no longer have to put up with him as Jeays' default support. What a way to make an exit...

[pippaalice.livejournal.com]

Thank you Augface

[pippaalice.livejournal.com]

also you know my fear about cheese and vinegar? It is because milk and vinegar makes plastic.

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

Really?

[pippaalice.livejournal.com]

http://www.instructables.com/id/Homemade-Plastic/

REALLY! PLASTIC IN TUMMY!

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

I have had cheesy chips many times without this ever happening. Maybe all the acids in a stomach help prevent it?

[pippaalice.livejournal.com]

OR your tummy is full of plastic.

[sbp.livejournal.com]

Nikki in exhibition-of-shoes shock?

[intermix.livejournal.com]

You know it!