No offence but you a psycho, honey

[alexsarll]

When they start to lose their voice, some people sound sultry. Others sound Rock (eg angelv), or maybe charmingly eccentric as tjej did on Saturday. Alas, I just sound like a sechs offender doing a bad Bowie impression*. I just hope I'm not beset with a coughing fit during the panto tonight, or that if I am it's under cover of one of the loud 'He's behind you!'-type bits.

Several times in dystopian science fiction, I've seen the idea of advertisements which are broadcast directly into dreams. Last night I had one myself, for a new 'phone payment plan. Still, I can't remember which company it promoted so they well played themselves there.

Philip Pullman seems to be less worried than anyone else by rumours that the anti-religious angle has been cut from the His Dark Materials film. I hope he's right.

I'm still enjoying Shameless, but thus far this series seems a little too reliant on guest stars. Most of the Gallaghers barely got a look in last night.

Yesterday there was a sale of unwanted book promos at my workplace. It was, like almost everything this month, a tsunami fundraiser. Many of you will know that cheap books have a massive draw for me, but I was still unable to find anything tempting; it was mostly books about gardening, diets, fashion, business or relationships, none of which is really my thing. However, by the time they were reduced to 10p apiece, one colleague started picking stuff up just for mockery purposes**. He ended up with Why Men Lie And Women Cry (clearly aimed at people who found that whole Mars/Venus metaphor a bit too much for their tiny minds) and a tome titled simply Seduction.
I joked that Seduction was unlikely to be a patch on the advice dispensed by Tom Cruise's character in Magnolia. How wrong I was - it could have been written by him. Opened at random, it offers "The best targets are isolated and unhappy, or can easily be made so".
There are men out there who paid more than 10p for this book, and didn't buy it to mock. Who really do see being with someone as about knocking them down rather than building them up. And what's worse, there are women out there who'll fall for it.
The human race there, not marvellous.


"Mayor of London Ken Livingstone said:
“The contract entered into by London Underground six years ago with Associated Newspapers for the exclusive distribution of the Metro does not allow Londoners to get the additional benefit of a free afternoon newspaper.
“It is a matter of public record that other newspaper businesses would be willing to distribute a free afternoon paper and might even pay more than we are getting for the Metro deal.
“TfL therefore will be taking appropriate action to bring about the distribution of a free afternoon newspaper on the tube, including resolving the long running OFT investigation negotiating appropriate changes to the agreement with Associated and preparing an advertisement inviting bids from newspaper organisations. The additional money from a new deal would of course be invested in further improvements to the Tube. “"


*Don't say it.
**A legitimate policy; this is pretty much how I ended up with After Big Game In The Upper Yukon which I have never read but treasure for the chapter title "Sheep: the finest sport in the world".

Comments

[p-dan-tic.livejournal.com]

sechs offender doing a bad Bowie impression

mathew james there, marvellous

*takes bow*

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

Jurassic Park!

[pippaalice.livejournal.com]

" Who really do see being with someone as about knocking them down rather than building them up. And what's worse, there are women out there who'll fall for it.
The human race there, not marvellous. "

Tell me about it! My family seems to breed women who want to be abused. I don't wish to be one of them. (Shut it you I am making a serious point!)

Hey, I appear to be reading your journal!! :P Oh wait does this mean I am like one of them there men?

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

Oooh, pretty icon!

A lot of SM theory stuff I've seen suggests that fitting abuse into a controlled framework is a way of dealing cathartically with traits like that, rather than letting them dictate the overall structure of your life. I think there's something to that.

[pippaalice.livejournal.com]

Yes, I am cute, go me. :D

Agreed. But then you know that. :P

[innerbrat]

I have a mask like that, but it's red so not quite as pretty.

And I own two books about the evils of evolution. I appreciate the mockery.

[ksta.livejournal.com]

mm. I had a really violent dream where I kept slapping people, the other week. However, it was not sechsual.

[verlaine.livejournal.com]

I thought LiveJournal WAS the afternoon equivalent to Metro?

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

Livejournal's 24/7, and the letters are slightly more articulate. Hell, even the comments which only say "Gay!" or "Goth!" are better argued than most Metro correspondence.

[p-dan-tic.livejournal.com]

and of couse david mantal's been on the metro letters page....

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

Serious? When?

[darkmarcpi.livejournal.com]

I think they should compile the, er, 'best' of the Metro letters into a book, a bit like those Viz cash-in books (best of Letterbox etc).

I'm not sure I'd buy it, but it would make me laugh now and then and would make interesting reading 100 years from now too.

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

The people of the future would invent time travel just so they could come back and slap the writers of the letters.

[my-name-is-anna.livejournal.com]

i once bought a book in a charity shop, with the title 'how to start a conversation and make friends'
it started with a disclaimer along the lines of - you're not sad for buying this book, you've bought this because you're moving into a new field of work and need to talk to people with different work experience to your own, or you want to do public speaking, or a load of other reasons which i can't remember now.

anyway, it then went on to give a not very good guide to how to pick up chicks.
eg: if you see a woman on her own at a table in a restaurant - how to approach her and ask if you can join her.

also, top tips - make eye contact with the woman you are talking to - but not too much! look her in the eye, then look at her ear, then look at her eyes again, then look at her chin. do not stare at her chest.
i thought it would be very difficult for someone who is so nervous about women that they have to buy a book about talking to them, to remember all this stuff - the lines the book suggests, the ear, eye, chin looking, how to sit so you look relaxed etc...

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

Indeed.

Also, the whole concept of 'chat up lines' as opposed to just, y'know, 'talking to people' - does that ever work? With particular reference to that one which the Japanese scientists decided was the best ever, and which translates as 'This time next year we'll be laughing together'. I mean, if anyone has ever actually pulled with that then the human race is in even worse shape than I thought.

[jamesward.livejournal.com]

Just because you didn't have any luck when you tried it with me Barry, doesn't mean it's a bad chat-up line, I just didn't fancy you.

[my-name-is-anna.livejournal.com]

unfortunately, like many things in life, chat up lines aren't fair.
if a handsome, witty, slightly taller than me man said 'this time next year we'll be laughing together', i would be quite pleased.
if the usual calibre of the types who've tried to chat me up said it, i would be disappointed.

actually no one tries to chat me up anymore. i think i'm too frightening to men now.

[jamesward.livejournal.com]

*Makes notes*

Do not stare at her chest

Cor, all this sounds a bit too complicated for me.

[my-name-is-anna.livejournal.com]

i think it suggested asking her about what she would recommend on the menu.

i only remember this because at the time i was thinking how sleazy the lines were, and how i would be alarmed if i was trying to eat my dinner and a random man was staring at my ear and breathing deeply to stay calm

[martylog.livejournal.com]

My favourite response to the whole 'cutting God out of HDM' controversy was from my housemate who, when I told him, merely shrugged morosely and said, "God wasn't one of my favourite characters in the books anyway."

[miss-newham.livejournal.com]

Aw, charmingly eccentric, that's my tjej! More people should have illnesses that make their friends want to rip the piss out of them instead of sympathising, that's what I say.

[ksta.livejournal.com]

didn't pullman say in a Times interview that 'a fat wad of money is a fat wad of money and that's that' ? (slightly paraphrased here, but not much).

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

Much of the article to which I linked concerns the ways in which he feels the Times misrepresented his comments.

[okborednow.livejournal.com]

I loved the bit in Shameless where they got the man with tourettes to teach swearwords to the little kid. Ace!
xx

[barrysarll.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, the whole spoof training montage was great. And I liked the stuff with Frank's dad last week too. I'm just worried that if they keep this up it may lapse into formula.