Voguish lefties keen to get laid
Mar. 10th, 2005 10:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alexsarllLast night I watched and thoroughly enjoyed a film about footballism. Yeah, you heard me. Well OK, you didn't, you read my words on a computer screen, but you know what I mean. If all footballism were like Shaolin Soccer, I would understand why people cared about it. Kung-fu masters versus players called Team Evil and enhanced with Super-Soldier Serum - now *that* is a game worth watching.
Carson "Queer Eye" Kressler has written a book for children called You're Different And That's Super. There is no way future historians will ever believe that this happened *after* the Big Gay Al episodes of South Park.
I very much enjoy comedian Richard Herring's blog, but every now and then he develops an obsession to the extent that he's not even being funny about it, and I end up skimming whole entries. Last year it was the Marathon; now it's Scrabble. But for those of you who share the latter religion, now's the time to start reading.
I was most surprised when Newsnight announced John Bolton as the USA's new ambassador to the UN. But not as surprised as I was when a Chinese mayor declared with a straight face that China had never threatened human rights. Alas, I suspect he had more of a point when he said that investors weren't concerned about their human rights record so long as they could continue to deliver economic growth.
Doctor Who also made Newsnight, and the front cover of today's Times. Obviously I'm glad it's all so high profile, but the downside is that I already know far more than I want to about the new series, in spite of my best efforts to avoid spoilers. Plus, from what clips they showed, I think I'd much rather have Jeremy Paxman as the Doctor than Eccleston, who looks like far too much of a hard-case. And the explosion effects were shockingly bad.
(Where no alias was offered, I've had to construct my own. The degree of guessability varies)
Higsley Boothsborth: If you respect your friends' opinions on other matters, it seems sensible to accept that they think you're ace. Apart from anything else, if they didn't like you, why would they bother lying to you on that point? They've no wish for you to change or to be lonely, and see no need for you to be embarrassed.
Help Me, Mathsnerdville: Sadly, since my visit to Arkham I have preferred the non-Euclidean mathematics which better express the nightmare geometries of R'lyeh. Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fthagn!
Lady Pout, London: A punch in the face seems a little excessive, and its effects also more likely to be noticed and remarked on in public. I'd recommend a stamp on the foot or a kick on the shins.
Tardy, Poland: The majority of both genders are fairly rubbish. You just notice it more on men because they're the gender with whom you've had your romantic dealings.
Fangirl: Much of what I hear about the rock'n'roll circus suggests that, after the first flush of excitement, it's just another job like all the rest.
Pained, Ribs: Avoid heavy lifting, slamdancing and hugging bears.
LonelyHeart1983: I think there's a certain sort of attachment that doesn't come again. But obsessing over the absence of that can make you miss the other, different, wonderful sorts of attachment you can still form, simply because they aren't so all-consumingly obvious. And in some ways the other, later sorts can even be more fun.
Person impressed that it's called Ask Barry: Enjoy the situation for what it is, and continue administering such punishments as you see fit. But not the silent treatment, you're hopeless at that.
Angry Clown: I used to think your problem was that you'd seethe in locked posts but never tell the people who angered you. Of late you seem to have got a lot better at doing the latter, but it doesn't seem to have improved the situation. Given the situation, poisoning or suffocation with a pillow would seem your best bets.
Kermode fan: Tube walks should see you through at least the next year of it. Are they not vocation enough for anyone?
Alfie: You're a lot more likeable than you think. And tolerance isn't really a factor - look at what a ranty git I am, but I seem to get away with it.
GrowlyFace: It's tempting, but that would seem to have a very high clusterfvck potential - particularly if the other half objects to such behaviour.
Geoff, Croydon: a) You are fairly gay, but we knew that anyway. b) Make sure you have plenty of spare batteries.
Person who really should have left a pseudonym: Yes, I know who he is. And I know how it feels. I know people say that losing oneself in meaningless encounters isn't the answer, but in my experience that's utter tosh, because sometimes those encounters gradually develop more meaning and you end up realising you've found something new after all, and the old thing you'd never get over has imperceptibly faded into a bittersweet piece of nostalgia.
Tom Servo: I was going to suggest preparing a whole speech, rather than trusting to inspiration. Then I remembered how easy it can be to fluff a speech, or wuss out, but it occurs to me - why not prepare it, but then leave it written, and post it? A letter can't be unsent, after all. And even if you chicken out of posting it, it still exists, and you can not post it however many times, because it need only be posted once.
the Whiner: a) Now here I'm stumped, because I'd like an answer to that one myself. Maybe you'll have more luck on the Lottery than I do. b) I'd suggest hijacking an extant clubbing or pubbing plan, or else a schoolnight which no one on your friendslist has mentioned as booked. c) Mine were too yesterday, so maybe it was atmospheric pressure or something.
Instructress: Yes, that would be evil. If he's at fault, though, justifiably evil and rather funny. However, it might backfire, either through resumption of prior arrangements, or if some of them turn out to like it anyway.
Carlos: I'm an agony uncle, not Jimmy Saville! But I'm sure it can be achieved if you just stop playing so competently and are more of a drug-addled mess on stage.
Esmeralda: Not obliged, no, but it might be worthwhile anyway judged by that meeting.
Tigger: You really don't come across as lacking in confidence, you know. And it's worth remembering that most men (and women) are to some extent the wrong man (or woman); it's only when you let them get too much power over you that this becomes a problem. Keep a certain distance, at least until you've both established a workable modus vivendi, and then, gradually, let your guard down.
Peachy keen: Is that an Uzi made of ouzo? Ace. Yes, but only if you can make sure to get people who really count rather than functionaries and expendables.
Carson "Queer Eye" Kressler has written a book for children called You're Different And That's Super. There is no way future historians will ever believe that this happened *after* the Big Gay Al episodes of South Park.
I very much enjoy comedian Richard Herring's blog, but every now and then he develops an obsession to the extent that he's not even being funny about it, and I end up skimming whole entries. Last year it was the Marathon; now it's Scrabble. But for those of you who share the latter religion, now's the time to start reading.
I was most surprised when Newsnight announced John Bolton as the USA's new ambassador to the UN. But not as surprised as I was when a Chinese mayor declared with a straight face that China had never threatened human rights. Alas, I suspect he had more of a point when he said that investors weren't concerned about their human rights record so long as they could continue to deliver economic growth.
Doctor Who also made Newsnight, and the front cover of today's Times. Obviously I'm glad it's all so high profile, but the downside is that I already know far more than I want to about the new series, in spite of my best efforts to avoid spoilers. Plus, from what clips they showed, I think I'd much rather have Jeremy Paxman as the Doctor than Eccleston, who looks like far too much of a hard-case. And the explosion effects were shockingly bad.
(Where no alias was offered, I've had to construct my own. The degree of guessability varies)
Higsley Boothsborth: If you respect your friends' opinions on other matters, it seems sensible to accept that they think you're ace. Apart from anything else, if they didn't like you, why would they bother lying to you on that point? They've no wish for you to change or to be lonely, and see no need for you to be embarrassed.
Help Me, Mathsnerdville: Sadly, since my visit to Arkham I have preferred the non-Euclidean mathematics which better express the nightmare geometries of R'lyeh. Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fthagn!
Lady Pout, London: A punch in the face seems a little excessive, and its effects also more likely to be noticed and remarked on in public. I'd recommend a stamp on the foot or a kick on the shins.
Tardy, Poland: The majority of both genders are fairly rubbish. You just notice it more on men because they're the gender with whom you've had your romantic dealings.
Fangirl: Much of what I hear about the rock'n'roll circus suggests that, after the first flush of excitement, it's just another job like all the rest.
Pained, Ribs: Avoid heavy lifting, slamdancing and hugging bears.
LonelyHeart1983: I think there's a certain sort of attachment that doesn't come again. But obsessing over the absence of that can make you miss the other, different, wonderful sorts of attachment you can still form, simply because they aren't so all-consumingly obvious. And in some ways the other, later sorts can even be more fun.
Person impressed that it's called Ask Barry: Enjoy the situation for what it is, and continue administering such punishments as you see fit. But not the silent treatment, you're hopeless at that.
Angry Clown: I used to think your problem was that you'd seethe in locked posts but never tell the people who angered you. Of late you seem to have got a lot better at doing the latter, but it doesn't seem to have improved the situation. Given the situation, poisoning or suffocation with a pillow would seem your best bets.
Kermode fan: Tube walks should see you through at least the next year of it. Are they not vocation enough for anyone?
Alfie: You're a lot more likeable than you think. And tolerance isn't really a factor - look at what a ranty git I am, but I seem to get away with it.
GrowlyFace: It's tempting, but that would seem to have a very high clusterfvck potential - particularly if the other half objects to such behaviour.
Geoff, Croydon: a) You are fairly gay, but we knew that anyway. b) Make sure you have plenty of spare batteries.
Person who really should have left a pseudonym: Yes, I know who he is. And I know how it feels. I know people say that losing oneself in meaningless encounters isn't the answer, but in my experience that's utter tosh, because sometimes those encounters gradually develop more meaning and you end up realising you've found something new after all, and the old thing you'd never get over has imperceptibly faded into a bittersweet piece of nostalgia.
Tom Servo: I was going to suggest preparing a whole speech, rather than trusting to inspiration. Then I remembered how easy it can be to fluff a speech, or wuss out, but it occurs to me - why not prepare it, but then leave it written, and post it? A letter can't be unsent, after all. And even if you chicken out of posting it, it still exists, and you can not post it however many times, because it need only be posted once.
the Whiner: a) Now here I'm stumped, because I'd like an answer to that one myself. Maybe you'll have more luck on the Lottery than I do. b) I'd suggest hijacking an extant clubbing or pubbing plan, or else a schoolnight which no one on your friendslist has mentioned as booked. c) Mine were too yesterday, so maybe it was atmospheric pressure or something.
Instructress: Yes, that would be evil. If he's at fault, though, justifiably evil and rather funny. However, it might backfire, either through resumption of prior arrangements, or if some of them turn out to like it anyway.
Carlos: I'm an agony uncle, not Jimmy Saville! But I'm sure it can be achieved if you just stop playing so competently and are more of a drug-addled mess on stage.
Esmeralda: Not obliged, no, but it might be worthwhile anyway judged by that meeting.
Tigger: You really don't come across as lacking in confidence, you know. And it's worth remembering that most men (and women) are to some extent the wrong man (or woman); it's only when you let them get too much power over you that this becomes a problem. Keep a certain distance, at least until you've both established a workable modus vivendi, and then, gradually, let your guard down.
Peachy keen: Is that an Uzi made of ouzo? Ace. Yes, but only if you can make sure to get people who really count rather than functionaries and expendables.
