Tommy Davis: YOURS

Have made the brilliant discovery that among twitchers, the way in which a family of birds move, from which they can be instantly recognised before closer identification is made, is known as the 'jiz'. Add to this the existence of bird families such as tits and boobies, and the material just writes itself.

Felt mildy odd to have come from Islington to the West Country and then watch a programme about a West Country village invading Islington, but ultimately it wasn't a patch on John Sweeney Vs The Scientologists. While they are clearly a bunch of psycho freaks who flip out every time someone criticises their religion, I don't see how this makes them any different from certain other organised religions. They all expect money from their followers in exchange for unspecified benefits, take variously dim views of apostates, and base their lives around books of dubious merits which offer the only guarantee of their own truths but must not be questioned. It's just that the others have had longer to drum 'respect' for themselves into the populace, so tend to get criticised less often. Never mind the Charity Commission deciding not to recognise Scientology - it's a start, but next they need to derecognise all the others.

We may go boating later, if the weather picks up a little