There's nothing more exhilarating than seeing a universe coming out of your computer

For boys, pants shopping sucks. Girl pants come in a dizzying array of styles: you can get amazing confections in silk and lace; with amusing or cheeky slogans; even dazzling diamante-type creations. True, such things are available for males too - but if you wear them, you will look like a spanner. Realistically, we can choose between basic styles, fabrics, and colours. It is essentially the same as shopping for socks (where, lest we forget, boys again tend to look like tools in the sort of gimmicky stuff which girls can carry off) except that pants are far more likely to be tainted with the manufacturer's logo on the outside, something I almost invariably abhor. That the task should be so uninspiring is among the reasons that boys tend to keep pants past the point where they have begun to disintegrate. For girls, that would be an excuse to buy something new and exciting. For boys, it's just a chore.

It's not hard to respect a country with halfway sensible attitudes towards sex, drugs and euthanasia, and whose national legend concerns a boy sticking his finger in a dyke*, but bravo anyway, Holland; you gave that ghastly treaty even more of a shoeing than the French. Of course, on Newsnight keen yachtsman and European Commission chief Barroso was trying his best to act like they can carry on pretty much regardless, as they have in the face of previous rejections. This could mean a long fight, for which I hope Europe's people have the stomach; alternately, maybe their apparent inability to accept the facts or the public will could bring the whole damn edifice to its knees. I do hope it's the latter case. His Most Magnificent Paxman-ness offered a more sensible alternative, asking for a new constitution "in not more than 250 words".

In another item, on the Star Maker-tastic Millennium simulation, it was mentioned that most computers can't count past about 4 billion. We think of them as so capacious, particularly when it comes to maths - and they couldn't even count every member of one species on this one pathetic planet.

I am a great fan of Vincent Price, but had never before seen House of Wax, pretty much his breakthrough film. It's not quite on a par with the Corman/Poe classics, but you can see why it made him. What's less clear is why, like so many old horror films, it is now rated PG. Do they really think that age alone stops them being such stuff as nightmares are made on?

The teeth-grindingly annoying Trillian in the BBC Hitch Hiker's Guide was played by Peter Davison's wife, hence his presence as the Dish of the Day at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe (I may once have known this, but if so had thoroughly forgotten it until watching the DVD extras). But he's such a lovely chap! And she's so unbearable!

If anybody can comprehend the concept 'Jodie Marsh's autobiography', and furthermore wants a copy, then there's one in the free box.

*Look, somebody was going to make that joke if I was nice about the Dutch, and it might as well be me.

Originality is a myth anyway

[Poll #504998]

The upside of doing an update which mentions pants is that your comments page goes into overdrive. The downside is that almost none of those comments will address any of the non-pants issues you may also address, even when they include such crucial topics as the fate of Europe*, the shape of the universe and the wonder of Vincent Price.

tiny_tear wishes to know my current six favorite songs. In no particular order:

The Last - Soulfires
Male Stripper - Man Parrish
Please Stand Up - British Sea Power
Pour Some Sugar On Me - Def Leppard
The Bad Touch - The Bloodhound Gang
Speedway - Morrissey

At a guess, three of those will have changed by tomorrow, and all six by next week.

*This article pretty much summarises my feelings on any attempt which may be made to salvage parts of the Constitution, even if he does rather hammer his imagery.