Sarllnemicron

"I Tell You: One must
still have chaos in one
to give birth to a
dancing star!"


-Nietzsche

An Oath to the discordant wiles of Eris!!

Mark my words, oh yea scrabbling, clodhopping vulgarian yokes!

By noon today, I, Barry Sarll will have blocked out the cursed sun! The apparatus is in place - as we speak, Stephens is manfully erecting a large pole atop Primrose Hill upon which my infernal blocking device shall rest...

...Lord Crivens Crivens and his corrupt Electricity Board are in my pocket, so to speak, and by the day's end, ALL the cancerous lubs in London shall beg to pay my jacked up power prices!

Baron Von Sarll's Voodoo Canapes

Pay attention, cringing lardtubs!

Inspired by kitty_collar, let me take a moment out from being fiendish to celebrate pancake day with a special Barry style recipe.


Barry's Pancake Recipe

2 large freerange peons
2 cups of neat absinthe
1 1/2 cups of orphan's blood
4 tbsps fresh semen
2 tablespoons of Alan Sugar
6 teaspoons of Voodoo powder
1 teaspoon of salt

Makes about 4 pancakes.

Beat peons until fluffy; beat in remaining ingredients just until smooth. Grease and heat large cauldron.
Spoon pancake batter into pan.

Serve with roast prole and alcopops.

Who Shot Barry Sarll?? (Act One)

The Scene: Atop Primrose Hill, North London, the devilish romo rotter Barry Sarll has erected a sun blocking device casting the whole of London into eternal darkness. As he sniggers gaily to himself, an angry and unruly mob of peons advances....

BY AMATSU MIKABOSHI!!!!
BY AHRIMAN!!!
BY EREBOS! HECATE!! HEL!! HODR! KALI!! MORRIGAN!!!

I AM THE RAVEN KING!!!

Gaze upon me oh yea worthless, mewling, sizzing, slabbering, ululating, yowling trivialities!!

Phlebotomizing inbred shirk-a-day crustbottoms!

Squalling cankorous plague daubed cockroaches!!

Meatheaded softbellied vomit swilling simpleton lubs!!

UNWORTHY UNWASHED PEONS!!!!

I, Barry Sarll, have blocked out the sun. Now all you grubby rubes are at my mercy. Tremble proles!!

(Barry catches the thickly accented distresses of a peon)

What’s that? Speak up man!!

Oh – I see. You say that you’ll see to it that I, Barry Sarll shall suffer the infernal machinations of hell's grim tyrant for what I’ve done. That my scurvy schemes shall perhaps earn me a one way ticket to the boneyard.

more peonic mutterings of discontent)

Oh, you all talk big. But who here has the guts to stop me???

Who Shot Barry Sarll?? (Act Two)

Ah, dear readers!!

You find me repaired to the House Beautiful. I evaded that unruly mob and have left my sun blocker guarded by Stephens and an elite of my Mecha Pikachu battalion.

Yes, I sigh as I muse upon the wonder of perpetual twilight, bathed in the glow of Barry brand electricity. I am transfixed by the beauty of my supernatural occult furnace!

Hello, furnace whatcha knowin'? I've come to watch your...
power flowin'.

After all these years, things are finally starting to go my way. I feel like celebrating....

I -- oh, it's you. What are you so happy
about?.... I see. I think you'd better drop it. I said, drop it...

Get your hands off!!!


SETH!!! SETH!!! THE MYSTIC HAND............ BANG!!! A GUN SHOT.......... BARRY PAYS THE OLD ONES IN BLOOD.... BARRY PAYS THE OLD ONES IN BLOOD.....