Great heaving silicone breastforms of tender gender bender Lord Fanny!
Dear readers, you find me returned from my shopping spree with a gay spring in my step and a song in my Baronial heart!
I have a new velvet smoking jacket in which to cut a gay dash around the gilded gentlemen's clubs of Soho!
Stephens! Type up a transcript of the delicious music hall tune I just this very minute serenaded you with! Readers, I was inspired by the musical edition of Buffy that you peons with television equipment may have viewed at some juncture.
The Transcript
Stephens Baron Sarll! I mark your gracious return. Did you buy anything nice? A new jacket, perchance?
Barry: Yes... and it's no ordinary jacket. For you see...
[singing]
Some men sing of love, make such a noisy racket
But the only thing I'm singing of is a velvet smoking jacket..
[to the tune of "Be Our Guest"]
See my jacket, see my jacket, don't you peons dare attack it!!
Feel this lining, fancy twining, Moroccan silken lining.
See this fringe? Cut on a binge, looks like it's been singed...
A perfumed shirt in black cherry, as worn by Bryan Ferry
Italian lace underwear; ladies thongs, I've got my share.
Fillies pining, young boys whining, as Barry Sarll's reclining...
They come to touch my suit, my dandy velvet flute
See my jacket, see my jacket, see my jacket!
[with hat and cane]
Like my strides? They're snakehide! And flared out at the sides...
But my black velvet smoking jacket is the best!!
So let's prepare these proles
Woman: Our clothes are full of holes!
Barry: See my jacket, see my jacket, oh please, won't you see my jacket?
[spoken] I really like the jacket.
Stephens: I gathered, yeah.
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