blow winds and crack your cheeks

Great heaven, look at this dreadful weather.
My night's sleep was already disturbed by the sound of chums popping in by helicopter for a late night jape. (The wags.) And now this appalling wind and rain have woken me again.
I shall retire back to bed with my earmuffs and velvet eyepatch until it becomes mandatory to rise and face Monday morning.

In Which The Baron Evades Finsbury Park Constabulary

What horrors! It seems that Special Branch have got wind of my world domination plans! The chop of coptor blades! The barking and drooling of police dogs! The rough cry of the constabulary yeoman! The whole damned scene was enough to push the Sarll ticker all the way up to rhumba.

Luckily, i managed to waft an industrial amount of lavender essence out through the doors of my Baronial dwellings afore the bobbies stumbled upon my poison gas making facilities... in their confusion, the damn fools only went and fingered the denizens of the local mosque! It seems my lavender ruse masked the odour of anthrax emanating from my basement, leaving the bobbies with just the one other lead to follow up. About bloody time they raided that damn mosque, too. Do they not realise that Sarll is the one true deity?

When I am king you will be first against the wall

I mean, obviously I don't want to obliterate the entire world, just those who fall into the following categories:

- football players and, indeed, anyone who supports the game in any conceivable way;
- any young ruffians unable to quote Oscar Wilde at the drop of a feather;
- those responsible for the ghastly undersolo and cherry jam;
- anyone who adheres to any kind of religion;
- those that are not like me in every possible way (although nobody could actually be as fantastic as me, naturally).

Kick up your heels, paint your face

The first Stay Beautiful of the year looms on the horizon, and as ever, The Baron faces a pressing dilemma: what on earth shall i wear?

[Poll #93755]

Sarll-o-Vision

http://mm.dfilm.com/mm2s/mm_route.php?id=745050

I am the new Barry Sarll. Who is Barry Sarll? You are Barry Sarll.

http://mm.dfilm.com/mm2s/mm_route.php?id=745220

"The Schizoid Sarll" by Senor Spielbergo.

'masterful!' - the East Ham Herald

'a joy' - Bella

'a thrill a minute blockbuster' - Hares & Hounds Weekly